| Subject | Mark | Comments |
| History | 35% | He has no sense of history. But then, of course, he has no sense. |
| Chemistry | 53% | He is intentive. As a result, form SB is lucky to be alive. |
| Mathematics | 94% | An obnixous, self-satified, self-centered, shabby, dribbling, bone-idle, toadying cow-pat of a pupil; his most revolting quality being that he is quite, quite brilliant. |
| Physics | 65% | Very Encouraging. A boy died when co-operating with his lie-detector experiment, as you know, but nevertheless the exam results were excellent. |
| Geography | 54% | A surprisingly good result considering he only succeeded in finding the classroom twice this term. |
| Biology | 41% | He really has no idea, but then hopefully he will never breed. |
| Religious Knowledge | 25% | No progress this year, sadly. He once claimed that he worshipped the God of Lemonade which rather confused us all, I'm afraid. |
| Art | 58% | He draws well, but has difficulty with nudes (looking at them). |